Leaping Leena the Lap Dog

Leena the Lap Dog joined our family several weeks ago.  I was wishing for a little dog to sit on my lap.  Bree had been thinking it might be a good idea for me to have a dog to take outside and keep me moving.  Leena had been living with Bree for several years, but Bree felt it was more important for Leena to hang out with us for awhile.  Having Leena here has been wonderful!

A little back story….Leena has been in our family for eleven years!  She was originally Trevor’s dog.  She was so tiny, that he would carry her under his shirt, and she would pop her head through the neck line of his shirt.  She would also hide in his shoes, so he had to be very careful when putting on his shoes.  Leena has always been one of the most patient and sweetest dogs that I’ve ever known.

Ok…back to current story!  Leena not only gives me comfort, but she also makes sure that every visitor gets a chance to have a Leena encounter.  She will sit on every visitor’s lap (if they want her).  Leena brings comfort and peace into a situation where visitors might feel uncomfortable.  When I take her on walks, she leads me with the walker.  One can see that she feels very important and in charge of our walks.  Thank you Bree for sharing Leena!  Dog therapy is amazing!

Health Updates:

The mass by my left rib has grown.  It feels like the mass is pushing against my rib, which is causing a squeezing of the other organs nearby.  I can really feel it when I’m walking, so I’ve slowed down and am using the walker when outside.

The mass on my neck is also growing.  This one makes talking difficult at times.  I will return calls when I can talk clearly.   Otherwise, texting works well for me.

I have definitely slowed down.  My energy level has been very low these past couple of weeks.  Showering is an example of how I have slowed down:  It takes at least an hour; maybe an hour and a half to shower.  On Monday and Thursdays a bath nurse comes out and washes my hair and body.  This was difficult for me to accept in the beginning.  Now, I am thankful for her help.  During the shower, I need to sit down on the shower chair because it is exhausting to stand for the whole shower.  When the shower is complete, I sit down for the drying.  Then there is the lotioning, the hair brushing, the hair drying…it all takes time because I need to stop and rest frequently during this process. It is a strange thing, but showers now wear me out and I usually end up taking a long nap after showers!

As I continue to slow down, I will be asking for more help.  There is a web-site that I will probably post next week.  It allows for people to sign up for times to help in various ways.  I promise, I won’t make anything difficult!

As much as I can, I still want to experience life to the fullest!  This Friday, Trevor and Katie are taking me to The Living Desert.  We will have a Private Safari and will experience The Living Desert with a private shuttle and driver!  I’m looking forward to feeding the giraffes!

Spiritually, I am doing well.   The Lord is always with me; I have never felt deserted by Him.  He brings me family & friends to help along this path.  I am thankful for each of you!  It feels like I am preparing for the ultimate Hiking Trip!  I know that this journey will be full of love and adventure.

If you are a person who enjoys Praise & Worship music,  check out this song:

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) – Hillsong United

This song is where I am at spiritually.  It is on the song list for the funeral!  I’m not sure it is “cool” to write that, but, yes, we have been working on that reality.  I count that as a part of the gift of time I’ve been given!  I love you all and I am thankful that you have joined in on my journey.

It is well with my soul!  Love, Cindylindy

Christmas Eve Thoughts…

Christmas Eve has always been special to me.  I enjoy thinking about the story of Jesus coming into this world.  My thoughts go beyond the traditional story and travel into the realms of the Heavenly.

I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, and I believe in the Holy Spirit.

I believe that God is an amazing force of Love and Light.  I believe that it would be difficult to leave His Presence.  I am amazed that Jesus would leave His side, to be born of a human.  Jesus left the Presence of the Father to dwell with us!  The thought is almost over-whelming to me.

Not only did Jesus leave the Presence of God, but He came into a world that would not welcome Him.  He was born in a barn.  Herod, King of Judea, wanted to kill baby Jesus.  He was always regarded as a bastard, so He did not have any social standing.  I imagine that He was ok with that, but it could not have been easy to endure.  Maybe that is why Jesus always stood up for the underdogs of the world.  His siblings dismissed him as the crazy one in the family.  It could not have been an easy life for Him, and yet he lived among the people.

He lived among the people.  His first miracle was to help a married couple with the wine at their wedding.  He turned water into wine!   I’m looking forward to Heavenly wine!  He taught about what The Father really wants; not what the religious leaders of the day wanted.  It seems the biggest struggle Jesus had on Earth, was to contend with the church leaders of the day.   The leaders wanted everyone to follow their rules.  Jesus said it is ok to break the rules in the name of Love.  If your animal falls in a pit, rescue it, no matter the day!  If someone gets hurt, help that person, no matter the day!  I believe that Jesus wants us to love and accept each other.  To help each other…

He treated the outcasts with kindness.  He healed people.  He stood His ground with the Religious  Leaders of the day.

Jesus left the glory of His Father, to dwell among the people!  It amazes me.

I understand that not all will agree with me regarding my beliefs.   However,  I have been fortunate to experience this kind of love from my family and friends.  I am thankful for every text message (it has been difficult to speak- texting is easier), I am thankful for every card, every visit, every prayer, and every thought that has been poured out over me and over Trev and Bree.  I love you all!  Merry Christmas!!!










A Month on Hospice

A gift has been bestowed upon me! Quality Time. We all have time. The beauty of my gift in time, is the knowledge that my time is now limited.  With that, there is an awareness of quality of life!!!

Quality of life in the hospital was oppressive.  It was dark & depressing.  I believe I would have died if I had stayed there one more night.  So, I blurted out, “I want to go home on hospice care now!!!”  It must have been a shocking request for my family to hear, but they had me signed up with hospice and back at home in a few hours!  I will forever be grateful that I have a family who surrounds me with love and support.

Hospice care at home has been fundamental in my new time-spectrum.  The hospice staff are amazing.   Everyone of them are kind and direct and honest!  They are available 24 hours and have always responded quickly to our calls.  This gives an enormous sense of peace in the quality time.  This gives me peace that I won’t have to return to the dreaded hospital.

My thoughts above are the starting point of my new journey.  With that, “Ok, I’ve the peace let’s go forward,” come a myriad of emotional thoughts barging through the brain!  A month on hospice has me thinking…

I think about quality v. quantity.  I think about how can I make the most of my time?  I think about the after-life.  I think about my children going on without me.  I think about not knowing grandchildren.  I think about my parents and wonder how they feel about all this.  I think about all the family and friends who reach out to me and what a blessing each person is in my life.

Most of all, I think I am blessed to have time to spend with family and friends.  This time on hospice is not about doom and gloom.  It is a time to be with people.  It is a time to be myself.  It is a time, that I can allow to unfold by itself and see what the day brings!




Visions in the early morning… death or awakening? Power of prayer???

For the last few weeks I have been waking up with Visions of the Early morning.  I have known that I would be eventually sharing these visions.  It has only been since joining the Hospice Adventure of cancer, that I can no longer ignore the compelling to desire to share.

Each vision emerges from the right side of my brain, as I sleep on my back.  The visions are like 6 X 4 picture slides that pass too quickly!  I want to dwell on each picture and retain the details. Instead, I need to wait.  I believe the whole slide-show needs to be experienced before understanding is fully known.

The images begin as a darkish-brown hue.  The images usually start showing from a glow that springs from the bottom of the picture, or a glow drops down into some type of forest. The glow is usually soft ivory color and sometimes it springs to life in an instant of white light!

This morning the images were dark, but as the slide-show began, I could see ferns wrapped around the base of brown trees.  There was an opening between the trees with a soft, grassy path between trees.  I was a soft glow image of a younger girl in a dress with flat walking shoes.  As I stepped onto the path, the darkness opened and branches that had been dark, opened to soft light and I could see the branches were small parts of my ribs.  There were dark spots on the ribs and the spots actually began looking like catepillar-type creatures. I could see they were eating my branches, but all I could do was watch and wait.  I am reminded that the Lord frequently speaks to me about, “Be still and wait.”  I guess, sometimes we are given breaks from the battle to rest.

As I watched, The Light came from behind the munching creatures, and That Light, engulfed the creatures with His own light.  This is really hard to explain, but I could see that the creatures were consumed by the brightest of all lights.  They didn’t even know The Light was behind them and that they were ready to be devoured!

All I know is that if felt a deep sense of peace deep within my soul.  I KNOW that The Light is fueled by prayers:  prayers of love, prayers of warriors, prayers of wisdom, prayers of healing.  Prayers of so many more powers that I can’t list yet.

I am able to feel all these prayers!  I am able to feel the love, hope, and desire from all these prayers.  And all I can do is say THANK YOU to all who support me and my family.

And I am learning that prayers can be more than words.  Prayers come in the form of visits and texts and meals and desserts and phone calls and help with shopping and help with laundry and help with creative projects…and so much more!  Again, THANK YOU!

With a deep love to each of you, I am thankful for all that you do!  Everyone of you is amazing!  There are just some journeys that cannot be walked alone …!